Trinidadian club San Juan Jabloteh hit out at Celtic last week for ignoring them on their trip to Scotland, despite "agreeing" a three-year partnership with the Scottish champions. This was news to Celtic, who say no such partnership exists.

So what have Celtic missed out on? "We were to give them first option on all of our players," said manager Terry Fenwick. Previous products of the famed Jabloteh academy include legends such as Marvin Andrews, Collin Samuel and Kelvin Jack. We doubt Celtic will be losing much sleep.

  • Michael O'Leary rarely misses an opportunity to make a euro, having revolutionised air travel with Ryanair. But he made a rare boob last week when he failed to back his horse, Hear The Echo, to win the Irish Grand National. It romped home at 33-1.

"We had no money on him," said a "gobsmacked" O'Leary. "I thought he was going out for a run to keep himself warm."

Mind you, the aul' £280m personal fortune probably came as some consolation.

  • THERE'S always someone worse off: Scottish football journalists fed up with Gordon Strachan's famous contempt for the media might spare a thought for their poor snooker-reporting chums, who have to attend press conferences with Ronnie "Do you want to suck my d***?" O'Sullivan.
  • Bolivia's head of state, Evo Morales, seems to take the George W Bush approach to hard presidential graft, having found time in his diary to join a second division football team.

Morales, 47, has signed for La Paz team Litoral. As a young man, his footy skills helped drive his rise to the presidency of Bolivia's largest coca-growers' union, launching his political career. He is also no stranger to the Sports Diary, having previously featured when he played a football game on the peak of Bolivia's highest mountain to protest FIFA's ban on games at high altitude.

  • Further proof that this mountain-climbing malarkey is not half as hard as proponents would have you believe came last week when Larbert's Stephen Joyce bagged Africa's highest mountain, Kilimanjaro. He is deaf and blind. "I want to show other deaf-blind people that they don't have to sit in the house and do nothing," he said.

Admittedly, Joyce had a couple of guides to prod him away from crevasses and the like, but in the circumstances we'll let him off.

  • I am a big Catholic and Celtic are known as the Catholic club in Britain so a transfer is something that would definitely appeal."

n Stipe Pletikosa, Croatia goalkeeper, endears himself to the Rangers support.