The spirit of John Cleese's Mr Praline and his famous Norwegian Blue parrot was conjured up at PMQs yesterday when shiny-haired Dave, in his even shinier mackintosh, took on the incredible sulk posing as shopkeeper Michael Palin. The subject? The Lisbon Treaty.

After a sombre opening in homage to the fallen heroes in Afghanistan, the prime ministerial ding-dong began on the Tories' beloved subject of hate: the European constitution, which to others has transmogrified into a run-of-the-mill, off-the-shelf amending treaty.

Gordy insisted the UK Government "respected" the Irish vote, which brought immediate squeals of disbelief from the purple-faced Conservatives. He added that it also respected the rights of others to go ahead and ratify the treaty. In other words, the parrot was simply, ahem, restin'.

An indignant Mr C declared: "Either this treaty is dead or it isn't?" noting to laughter from his chums that Mr B was so embarrassed by it he had to sign it in a room all on his own.

At this point, the ghost of Mr Praline hovered over the despatch box. "This parrot is no more. He 'as ceased to be. 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker. E's a stiff. Bereft of life. E rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies. 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory. 'E's off the twig. 'E's kicked the bucket. 'E's shuffled off is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot!"

Gordy, the shopkeeper, glowered. No, no, no. He's just stunned. Declaring to his equally stunned comrades: "This is a matter for the Irish."

However, at this point the adrenalin kicked in and the PM resurrected the ghostly parrot of times past, accusing the Tories of simply being out and out anti- Europeans. Didn't they know 60% of our trade was with our Euro chums and three million jobs depended on them, he asked.

DC hit back, noting how the PM had argued that it should be up to the Irish but, he declared: "The Irish people have spoken; they have said no. Which part of no does he not understand?"

Gordy then attempted to stab at the Conservatives' open vein on Europe, mentioning the dreaded Maastricht Treaty. The Tories duly squeaked. As the volume rose Mr B shouted how once again, it was "opposition for opposition's sake". The comrades finally woke up and their hearts roared.

DC coolly urged the PM to supply some leadership, which had Labour MPs guffawing madly. Accusing Gordy of flip-floppery on whether or not to hold a referendum on the constitution, the Tory leader barked: "Now the constitution is half-dead on the floor they haven't got the courage to kill it. Frankly, I've seen more spine and leadership from a bunch of jellyfish." Now Tory hearts were leaping.

Perhaps only time will tell whether Polly parrot lives on or is simply nailed to the Brussels perch.