"Bring it on!" went the Conservative cry and so Gordy, revived if not resuscitated after his 10p tax refund/bribe, did his best to oblige - bellowing and jabbing his finger at the shiny-faced Tory toff.

Spied in the corner VIP seats was the carpet-topped old master performer himself, "Sir" Bruce Forsyth - moustache twitching and his inner voice shouting, "higher, higher, lower, lower" as the dispatch box blows hit or missed.

The first to turn the heat on the PM was Calamity Clegg. Legs akimbo, he could barely contain himself over the 10p tax "charade", raging it still left one million of the poorest people out of pocket. As he jumped up and began jabbing his own digit energetically at Gordy, shrieking at his betrayal of the poor, Labour's imaginary handbags came out with MPs, sitting to attention and emitting a loud ironic: "Oooooh!"

For once, the comrades sat contented, wallowing in the socialist afterglow of his Britannic Majesty's largess to not five million but 22 million voters, poor and otherwise.

To Tory hurrahs, Dave pointed out how the public had just coughed up £2.7bn to keep the PM in his job and the least he could do was to give straight answers to questions. So he tried the Wendy question (good luck). Mr C pointed out how last week Gordy had insisted Bendy had NOT called for an early referendum on Scottish independence. "Will he now admit that she was calling for an early referendum and on this one issue they simply don't agree?"

Gordy clicked into obfuscation mode, declaring there was "no plan" for early legislation for a referendum in Scotland at Westminster or Holyrood. He then insisted the Tories were reneging on their solemn Unionist duty to kick the nasty Nats where it hurts, yet instead were descending into "petty point scoring". Surely not.

To more Tory cheers, Dave insisted it was Labour putting the Union at risk by "playing games" at a time when Bendy and Gordy were the "two most unpopular politicians on the planet".

The PM, however, geed up his colleagues by declaring how the Tory toff was all trousers and no substance.

Yet post-PMQs, with the great entertainer still goggle-eyed, there was time for a Brucey bonus. After Gordy had delivered his microwaved Queen's Speech, Dave quoted Communities Secretary Hazel Blears, saying: "This is The Apprentice meets Maria meets Strictly Come Dancing." By now, Brucey's moustache was twitching frenetically.

Mr C added: "I've got a better idea for the Prime Minister. Why not take part in a reality show that involves the whole of the country: it's called a General Election. Wouldn't it give everyone the chance to stand up in front of the Prime Minister and say, You're fired?' " Brucey's eyes widened. Good game, good game.