There were no celebs, paparazzi, or autograph hunters at last week’s networked premiere of Shine A Light in Glasgow. There was, however, a Stones T-shirt included in the £12.50 ticket price. Nothing says glamour, after all, like an XL piece of cotton.


It was a strange event all round. Glasgow was one of several cities in Britain to get first sight of Martin Scorsese’s film. The deal was this: the premiere proper would take place in London’s Leicester Square (I know you know where Leicester Square is, but it’s compulsory to precede it with the word London, just as it’s against the law to write anything about Britney Spears without using the adjective “troubled”.) The great unwashed in the regions would be able to watch the traffic on the red carpet, then see the film more than a week before everyone else. Hence the ticket price.


Polite to a fault as Glaswegians are, the audience turned up on time at Cineworld in Renfrew Street, but it took a while for London to come calling. Suddenly, there she was, all dressed up for the evening, glowing, magnificent, and a little bit kerazee. And that was just our hostess, Scots DJ Edith Bowman.


It was Bowman’s job to interview Mick, Keef, Charlie and Ronnie when they got to the end of the red carpet. Before they reached Edith, however, there were ranks of other interviewers to plough through. They weren’t part of the broadcast we were seeing, meaning we were treated to the sight of lots of animated conversations but no sound.


Bowman’s interviews bordered on the surreal at times, with Keef telling her at one point that Scorsese’s film “could’ve been about rats” - eh? - and closing the chat by handing her one of his cards. The camera couldn’t get close enough to see what was written on it, but I thought I spied a logo for a double glazing firm. You can never have too big a pension, even if you’re one of the richest acts in music history.


Back in Glasgow the atmosphere was warm but hardly rock and roll. That’s the trouble with concert movies: they try to convey what it’s like to “be there” but they can’t. No matter how much the audience might have been in the mood to dance, as at a concert, there was no question of anyone getting up and doing it, either out of self-consciousness or consideration for the people sitting behind them. So there we sat, for two long hours, watching people in New York’s Beacon Theatre watch the Stones.


With the music industry ever keen to find new ways to prise money out of fans, concert films are making a comeback. These are meant to be the new, improved versions of the rock doc, some shot in 3-D, all with great sound, but unless the studios can find some way of generating more of an atmosphere at screenings I can’t see many people, outside of diehard fans, going along.


There was more of a party atmosphere at the Hannah Montana 3D concert movie - much of it fuelled by the E-numbers the tweenage crowd were wolfing down. Maybe that’s the secret to the future success of concert movies - more nachos, fewer T-shirts.


Competition
The blog has six posters for Shine A Light to give away. To win one, answer the following question: on which Stones album did Gimme Shelter first appear? Please send your answer, with your name and address, to Sam Boyd, Stones Poster Competition, The Herald, 200 Renfield Street, Glasgow G2 3QB. The first six correct entries picked out of the film critic’s beret win.


Coming soon
Next week: Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson are the warring couple in search of lost treasure and rekindled love in the comedy Fool’s Gold. Ewen Bremner, finding a sunnier gig than Transpotting ever was, co-stars. Fools Gold website
April 25: another Trainspotting alumnus, Ewan McGregor, turns up in the dark thriller Deception. Hugh Jackman (The X Men) plays the lawyer who involves his pal in sleazy dealings with regrets all round.
May 2: Spring wedding fever continues to rage with the rom-com Made of Honour. Tom (Patrick Dempsey) and Hannah (Michelle Monaghan) are the best of friends who look set to part after she falls in love with a handsome Scot. Made of Honour website
May 16: Thai horror Shutter returns to life in an American remake with Masayuki Ochiai (Infection) at the helm. Shutter-Movie website

Pick of the week
Hardly a newie but definitely a goodie - The 39 Steps.