10-14 Kelvinhaugh Street, Glasgow 0141 576 5018 Style: Organic a-go-go Cost: Pint of Freedom lager, £3.30; 175ml glass of house wine, £2.80 Best for: Ethical drinkers Not for: Boors, posers and bargain hunters Wheelchair access: Yes
The balding man points the mic at the wooden chest. The beatniks crowding him crane their necks to discern a sliver of music, snatch two of five. The first was Glenn Miller - apparently, as nobody further than 5ft from the mic can make out a single note, let alone a series of them. "If you can guess five out of five you win." Nope, can't make that out either. "Someone must know it!" he cajoles. I turn back to the job in hand - I have a Freedom lager on the go.
This is The 78. In the late 1980s it was Murph's Barrelhouse; subsequently McChuill's Way Out West, then West 13th and lastly Stereo. The premises have been the location of countless worthwhile happenings, be they gigs, dub'n'grub nights, whatever. Being wedged, though, between a van showroom and a stretch of utilitarian housing has been a brake on progress. Moreover, it's only 100 yards off the bubbling antithesis of the British high street - Argyle Street from Finnieston to Kelvingrove - but for a pub that might as well be 100 miles. So what's going to make the difference this time? I will have a guess. Once I've ordered a pint of Samuel Smith's Blonde. Just £2.90? That's decent, that. And, clad in a gorgeous tall glass, the beer is astonishingly tasty. Mmm, bananas.
Hubby is doing a left-to-right sweep of the ciders; Johnny's on foaming brown ale; and the balding man is urging me to gub a Da Mhile whisky. Yep, this is a 99% organic pub. There's a Baltika - Russian Tennent's, I was once told - and draught Beck's, but otherwise you are enrolling for a BAlc at the University of Adventurous Drinking. Perhaps in five years we'll all be au fait with Juniper Green gin, Utkins UK 5 vodka and Papagayo rum, but for now the absence of recognisable logos is a breath of sweatshop-free air. Prices are on the high side, mind, but not outlandishly so.
The 78 is named after the HMV 78rpm gramophone the balding man - okay, Craig - was ineffectively trying to amplify with his mic. I fear it will probably crumble under the weight of the first organically drunk customer whose lack of physical control causes him to collapse in an ethical yet clumsy heap upon it.
Besides lesser-spotted drinks brands, vegan food is another echo of Mono, to which The 78 is connected. I've heard it's excellent, but tonight - the launch - there are just a few trays. I wash down vegan cake with another Freedom and swear never to judge a kitchen by its free vegan cake. Another dram, someone suggests. Go on then, let's be irresponsible.
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