We're lovin' it... because of...

1. Terry Wogan. He's been presenting Eurovision for 37 years and his bemused observations about the songs, dance routines and costumery only echo those in our living room. In 2002, when Latvia's Marija Naumova won with "I Wanna", Sir Terry (pictured) was heard adding "drink!" each time she uttered it. Not everyone is amused, though. The Danish director of Eurovision TV, Bjorn Erichsen, sniffed earlier this month that "Terry Wogan is a problem because he makes it ridiculous" adding: "The BBC gets a very large audience but it chooses to represent the contest in a certain way. They take it far more seriously in Sweden. They have a genuine love and respect for it." The love's no problem, but "take it seriously"? Seriously?

2. You could argue that Scotland has won before. Lulu, from Glasgow, won in 1969 with Boom Bang-A-Bang in a four-way tie between Spain, the Netherlands, France and the UK. Glaswegian singer Scott Fitzgerald nearly won with Go, a song written by Bruce Forsyth's daughter Julie, in the 1988 contest, but Celine Dion for Switzerland beat him by just one vote.

3. Azerbaijan. It warms the heart that the former Soviet state, which has never qualified for a European or World Cup football tournament but has a fine tradition of throat-singing, has joined Eurovision. Elnur & Samir, who wear giant angel wings on stage, have to be in with a yodel.

4. Believe it or not, a lot of turkeys don't make it to the final. Take Dustin, this year's Irish entry. It would seem to be missing the point to describe "Irelande Douze Points" as a bad song; a pumping Europop parody featuring a turkey glove puppet being pushed around in a shopping trolley while dancers in gold and green lame ruffs jiggle around him is surely what Eurovision is all about.

But the semi-finals audience in Belgrade booed him, suspecting perhaps that a glove puppet singing about "Terry Wogan's wig" was taking the proverbial.

5. The chemistry between the presenters. In the stage show Eurobeat, a joyful homage to the contest, the presenters are the perma-smiling Sergei and the buxom Boyka, who are constantly missing links and talking over each other.

6. It's part of Scottish history.

The Eurovision song contest was held in Edinburgh in 1972 because Monaco didn't have suitable facilities.

7. It makes you feel like part of one big happy, but dysfunctional, family. The idea was conceived as a way to help unify war-torn Europe. Sir Terry has praised it for "its magnificent foolishness" in imagining it binds us "when all it makes manifest is how far apart everybody is". Well, isn't that always the way with families?

8. It has actually produced some OK songs. In 1958, Domenico Modugno came third with Nel Blu Dipinto Di Blu, which became "Volare" in English, while Abba famously won with Waterloo in 1974.

9. It can be exciting. In 1998, there were just six votes between Israel's Dana International and the UK's Imaani, while in 1988, Switzerland beat Britain by just one point.

10. The parties. Done properly, they should feature flags, national costume and an international buffet of gravadlax, goulash and dolma.

The drinks table of vodka, wine, ouzo and Guinness is a hangover waiting to happen.

11. Wailing about love in an Irish accent is no longer Eurovision gold. It might seem churlish to say it about our only Eurovision ally, but Ireland has won seven times, including every year between 1992 and 1994 and then again in 1996. It didn't even try in 1994.

12. Britain is always a contender. By dint of the UK being one of the "Big Four" financial contributors to the EBU, the others being France, Germany and Spain.

13. Punters choose their own entries. Almost nine million votes were cast for Eurovision 2007, either by text or telephone (problem is, we don't necessarily have any taste).

14. Britain has actually won five times. Second only to Ireland. Given that only Ireland and Malta voted for us last year, though, we'd better not book the O2 dome yet.

15. The interval entertainments. In 1974, the Wombles came on while the 1994 contest is remembered for the distinction of presenting Riverdance to an international audience.

16. The wonderfully nutty definition of Europe.

Israel is a regular participant, and Morocco took part in 1980 (watch out for Venezuela's entry next year).

17. It's a great showcase for winning nations. Normal tourist visa restrictions were waived the year Ukraine hosted.

18. It can launch careers.

Abba, Bucks Fizz and Celine Dion took off from the Eurovision launchpad - though Samantha Janus stuck to acting after her 1991 Eurovision flop.

19. It is a huge TV event.

More than 10m people tuned in across the UK last year.

20. There's nothing to stop Scotland submitting its own Eurovision entry . . . as the European Broadcasting Union has confirmed.

The BBC, ITV, STV and Border Television could submit an entry. Kilts, bagpipes and sword-dancing are long overdue on the Eurovision stage.

And why Euro pop isn't so great...

1. Tinny, nasal pop songs.

2. The block voting. As Terry Wogan says, "an Iron Curtain has descended across Eurovision". It's eight years since a western European nation won (except Finland), and clear voting blocks have emerged: the Eastern Bloc, the Nordic league, the Balkan family and the Cyprus-Albania-Greece axis. Spain can generally count on Portugal and Andorra, but we've only got Ireland.

3. Juries taking it too seriously. According to Paul Gambaccini's Eurovision Song Contest Companion, there were rumours in 1993 that some juries were communicating directly.

4. The standard of British entries. In 2003, Jemini got "nul points". Some blamed the Iraq war but that was to ignore other compelling evidence. This year, former binman Andy Abraham has odds of 66-1 to win the competition, the longest odds of any British entry ever. Help . . .

5. We'd secretly like to win and we're not going to. Ever again. And it's not just because of the performer. Even if Morrissey had followed through on his threat to perform Britain's entry, everyone would still snub us.