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   Web Issue 3498 July 5 2009   
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Young Nick, the wee devil, feels the heat
MARTIN LAINGApril 05 2008

Politicians' gaffes: don't you love 'em? Just when a stand-in columnist is casting around for a subject on which to declaim, along comes Slick Clegg. The leader of the third party at Westminster has got himself tangled in the bed sheets over his apparent revelations about his love life.

Suddenly, the burning topic of the week among the political chatterati is exactly how many "partners" young Nick, the dirty devil, may have had. Pressed in an interview about his present and past loves, he said he'd slept with "not more than 30" women.

That he said it in a jocular fashion cuts no ice. The throwaway line has been pounced on with glee by the tabloids.

But does it matter how many nicks on bedposts are attributed to Slick? No, not really, but it does have an oblique relevance. This interview is, in fact, revealing about more than just Nick's romantic past. It speaks loudly of the zeitgeist that sees ever more youthful leaders of our political parties. No longer do we revere maturity and experience. The wisdom that comes with years is hastily disregarded for the spurious advantage of a supposedly more telegenic phizog. Yet there is an inherent folly in demanding younger and younger leaders.

Having dispensed with the services of the estimable Sir Ming Campbell, the LibDems have been hoist with their own petard in choosing a man who has now demonstrated a serious error of judgment. First, why on earth did he have any truck with a line of questioning that probed how many lovers had shared his bed, whether he was good in bed, if said lovers had complained about his performance and so on? It is inconceivable that Sir Ming, for instance, would have agreed to or tolerated such an inquisition. But I suspect young Mr Clegg was trying far too hard to show his credentials as youthful and trendy, embracing, as he did, a top-shelf men's magazine and attempting to be open with his answers. Bad call.

You'd think there might have been lessons to be learned from the past. Paddy Ashdown, sound fellow that he is, suffered ignominy on a grand scale after a sexual indiscretion; indeed, he's still referred to as Pantsdown. And leadership hopeful Mark Oaten lost out when it became known that this bastion of family values had visited male prostitutes. Lesson for Clegg? Keep sex and your private life private.

On the other hand, you might argue that Clegg is merely continuing a long and admirable Liberal tradition. After all, according to my Chambers dictionary, "liberal" is defined as "generous; broad-minded; not bound by traditional orthodoxy; free from restraint; ample; licentious in speech or action". But in sharing the details of his love life with us, he has shown himself to be more of a silly Billy than a slick Nick.

  • I have a confession to make. When it comes to modern art, I am a philistine. Much contemporary work leaves me cold, confused and cynical. Great swathes of it prompt one abiding thought: emperor's new clothes. I am convinced that much of it is a con trick being perpetrated on those so desperate to be the new cognoscenti that they will laud and pay over the odds for utter rubbish.

    So it was with delight that I saw the result of a sale at Sotheby's this week. The artist known as Banksy put up a work titled Morons that depicted people buying so-called art at, yes, Sotheby's. And the outcome? Some moron paid £1000 above the expected price, shelling out more than £5000 for the piece. You couldn't make it up. I rest my case.

  • There are numerous reasons to abjure the Beijing Olympics. However, for one young Scot the arrival of the Olympic torch in Britain this weekend is of huge significance.

    Brian Thomson, a 17-year-old from Renfrew, will be a member of the relay team that carries the torch through London, as part of its world tour. For Brian, the honour is colossal and represents the culmination of many years' striving to overcome adversity: the young man has had to learn again to walk and talk after suffering serious brain injuries in a fall at the age of five.

    Some will criticise him for taking part in the relay. I say, good for you, Brian. The torch is a symbol of the Olympic ideal, and is of enduring importance. Its symbolism must be perpetuated; indeed, it mocks, not endorses, China's temporary possession of it. Brian is a young man of courage and character, qualities with which the Olympic movement is synonymous. Enjoy your weekend, Brian, and well done.

  • Congratulations to the men whose work I have observed in recent weeks. Two construction sites - one a private home and one an "exclusive development" by a major housebuilder - are fronted by fine examples of the stonemason's art. Piles of misshapen rocks have been chiselled, dressed and fitted until they have metamorphosed into beautiful hand-made stone walls. How heartening to know this traditional skill is still being practised.


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