Parent Doctor
This week's dilemma: Our seven-year-old isn't good at reading. Her teacher told us at the end of last term that she is way behind the others in her class. Yet she seems to be clever at everything else. Over the summer, our daughter has been saying she is stupid and that she hates school. My husband wasn't good at reading in school, either, and tells her she has just got to get on with it. What can I do, as she is so negative at the moment?
Readers' replies
I think your child has dyslexia. Our son went through his entire primary school with the same problem. We kept telling his teachers, one after the other, that he wasn't stupid. Everybody assumed that the reason he couldn't read was because he wasn't very bright. He ended up hating school.
Finally, at the end of secondary school, he was diagnosed by a psychologist as having dyslexia and he began to get extra help. I feel all those years were wasted when so much more could have been done. Insist that the school
gets your child properly
assessed now.
DI, by e-mail.
The story of your seven-year-old is a perfect description of what I went through myself. I gradually began to believe that I must be daft because I couldn't read like my classmates. There was no such thing as "dyslexia" in those days.
I left school as soon as I could, without any qualifications and barely able to read. I started my own business, which is still very successful. Only years later, as an adult, did I have the courage to get professionally assessed. The diagnosis of dyslexia was a big relief for me; I started to believe in myself again. I also put in a lot of hard work learning to read. Your child doesn't need to suffer any more. Persuade the headteacher that she isn't stupid and could improve with special teaching.
JE, by e-mail.
The law is on your side. Every pupil is entitled to a proper education. It's an absolute disgrace that things have got so bad with your child. No wonder she hates school - the teachers sound like they are just not doing their job properly.
There are lots of different types of help for those who
have reading difficulties, and your daughter deserves her
fair share of that. As soon as the new school term starts, talk to the headteacher about the problem. Don't be fobbed off with platitudes. Stand up for
your child.
EH, by e-mail.
The parent doctor's reply
The problem isn't just that your daughter has a reading difficulty, although that would be challenging enough. No, the problem is that the reading difficulty has also created further drawbacks, including low motivation, low self-esteem and antipathy towards school. She's hardly likely to make educational progress, even with additional teaching, when she feels that way.
At this stage, it is not possible for me to give a view of the exact nature of her reading difficulty. Maybe she does indeed have dyslexia, maybe not; a school-based assessment involving appropriate educational professionals would shed more light. Therefore I suggest that this becomes your goal for the start of the new school term.
Immediately arrange an appointment with the headteacher, in order to discuss your concerns. Tell your daughter about this so that she knows you treat her seriously and that you are taking action to bring about positive change. That alone should start to boost her motivation.
During your discussion with the headteacher - which will preferably involve other school staff who know your child well and who can give an insight into her learning history and class-based educational progress - set
out your worry about her long-term struggle with reading and about her low self-confidence as a learner. Inquire about the additional support that is available for a pupil with this type of difficulty, and ask for an individual learning plan for your daughter, one that sets out clear educational targets, explains what help she'll be given to
meet these targets, and gives a timescale for reviewing her progress.
There can be no guarantees that your seven-year-old will completely overcome her difficulties with reading. Yet a partnership of additional learning support in school, a more positive approach from your daughter herself and steady support from home is much more likely to lead to change than allowing the current situation to persist any longer.
Next week's dilemma
Our nine-year-old daughter saw a movie about war, and now refuses to sleep alone in her own bedroom at night. She comes into our bed in the middle of the night, or just curls up on the rug next to our bed to sleep. I think she is frightened by what she has seen. How can I reassure her that everything is fine and give her the courage to go to bed by herself again?
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Posted by: Darla Hatton on 2:03am Mon 20 Aug 07
Take a look at the following You Tube Video. It will direct you to a host of valuable resources that are available:
http://www.youtube.c
om/watch?v=mHGo-64dX
Jc
Take a look at the following You Tube Video. It will direct you to a host of valuable resources that are available:
http://www.youtube.c
om/watch?v=mHGo-64dX
Jc
Posted by: LM on 5:30pm Tue 21 Aug 07
Hmmm I agree that your daughter may indeed have dyslexia but would tend to disagree with the parent doctors advice regarding a schoolbased assessment. This will inevitably involve your local authorities educational psychologist who will be a horribly overworked professional possibly covering multiple schools and with no specialist dyslexia training. I have a dyslexic child and know of many others who were given dyslexia tests by educational psychologists employed by their Local Education Authotity only to be told there was nothing wrong.
If you can afford to do so, get an assessment from an independent child psychologist specialising in dyslexia. They are not subject to the time or budgetary constraints of your school's educational psychologist and they are qualified to analize the results of dyslexia tests and advise the best way forward.
I would certainly involve the school and keep them informed at all times, as soon as you set the ball in motion you will have them on the phone telling you how much your child "has improved". In fact your child will be exactly the same but THEIR attitude to her will have chaged leading to a happier child. Good luck.
Hmmm I agree that your daughter may indeed have dyslexia but would tend to disagree with the parent doctors advice regarding a schoolbased assessment. This will inevitably involve your local authorities educational psychologist who will be a horribly overworked professional possibly covering multiple schools and with no specialist dyslexia training. I have a dyslexic child and know of many others who were given dyslexia tests by educational psychologists employed by their Local Education Authotity only to be told there was nothing wrong.
If you can afford to do so, get an assessment from an independent child psychologist specialising in dyslexia. They are not subject to the time or budgetary constraints of your school's educational psychologist and they are qualified to analize the results of dyslexia tests and advise the best way forward.
I would certainly involve the school and keep them informed at all times, as soon as you set the ball in motion you will have them on the phone telling you how much your child "has improved". In fact your child will be exactly the same but THEIR attitude to her will have chaged leading to a happier child. Good luck.
Posted by: Trish Niblock, Edinburgh on 9:23pm Thu 23 Aug 07
If you can afford to do so, get an assessment from an independent child psychologist specialising in dyslexia. They are not subject to the time or budgetary constraints of your school's educational psychologist and they are qualified to analize the results of dyslexia tests and advise the best way forward.
I totally support the above quote from one of your previous comment-writers.
I HAD a very dyslexic son who was misdiagnosed by the school and local psychologist because hey did not have the appropriate tests or the time.
Luckily for us in Glasgow there is a Dyslexia organisation where proper testing takes place and also in Newcastle.
Schools are not interested in "discovering that a child is dyslexic" because they would then have to meet the promised extra teaching support when they are already short of funds.
My son at 11 began to have extra tuition thanks to the lack of awareness of the local school. Now at 30 he has written a book - on the computer with spell check etc ...
The huge plus about haveing dyslexia is that once you find his/her particular talent he/she will be exceptionally good at it!
Read Understanding Dyslexia by Susan Hampshire - SO MANY briliant people have been dyslexic.
Good Luck
An Edinburgh Mother
If you can afford to do so, get an assessment from an independent child psychologist specialising in dyslexia. They are not subject to the time or budgetary constraints of your school's educational psychologist and they are qualified to analize the results of dyslexia tests and advise the best way forward.
I totally support the above quote from one of your previous comment-writers.
I HAD a very dyslexic son who was misdiagnosed by the school and local psychologist because hey did not have the appropriate tests or the time.
Luckily for us in Glasgow there is a Dyslexia organisation where proper testing takes place and also in Newcastle.
Schools are not interested in "discovering that a child is dyslexic" because they would then have to meet the promised extra teaching support when they are already short of funds.
My son at 11 began to have extra tuition thanks to the lack of awareness of the local school. Now at 30 he has written a book - on the computer with spell check etc ...
The huge plus about haveing dyslexia is that once you find his/her particular talent he/she will be exceptionally good at it!
Read Understanding Dyslexia by Susan Hampshire - SO MANY briliant people have been dyslexic.
Good Luck
An Edinburgh Mother
Posted by: carolyn, Boston on 1:23am Mon 27 Aug 07
We saw that my daughter would cry or act up so she would not have to read. Anything else was easy'' for her. I asked the school if she could have CORE testing and they outright REFUSED, called her lazy and a princess. I took her to have one myself outside of school and my thoughts were confirmed. Parents always know when you feel something stick with your gut. When I brought in the test information it looked as if the teacher and principle saw a ghost.. There is nothing lazy about her. Occupational and speech therapy
has helped her so much.I followed my gut and feed a huge slice of humble pie to two very silly people!
We saw that my daughter would cry or act up so she would not have to read. Anything else was easy'' for her. I asked the school if she could have CORE testing and they outright REFUSED, called her lazy and a princess. I took her to have one myself outside of school and my thoughts were confirmed. Parents always know when you feel something stick with your gut. When I brought in the test information it looked as if the teacher and principle saw a ghost.. There is nothing lazy about her. Occupational and speech therapy
has helped her so much.I followed my gut and feed a huge slice of humble pie to two very silly people!
Posted by: Janet, Colorado on 8:06pm Wed 3 Oct 07
Oh, do I know that feeling. I have suspeceted that my 11 year old daughter had a learning disability since she was in second grade. The teachers kept telling me that she was "right where she needs to be." Finally at the end of third grade I learned that I could request that the school test her. Of course they didn't find anything wrong because they didn't want to.
In the meantime, I took her to Children's Hospital in Denver for testing. She was diagnosed with dyslexia, slow processing speed and very low phonemic awareness. They recommended tutoring with a multi-sensory tutor. I have spent 2 years looking for such a person. I have asked every educator I know if they know of one and they look at me like I have horns. Going to Children's Hospital for the tutoring is out of the question due to distance.
I finally found out about a program called Learning Rx. It is not tutoring, but cognitive brain therapy. They use the Woodcock Johnson test and test each individual child for their strengths and weaknesses. Then they tailor the training to target the ares of weakness. We completed at 24 week program, one on one training at the center 3 times a week for an hour and one on one training with the parent 3 times a week for an hour. They have a money back guarantee. They teach students to link visual images together, an entirely different way to learn phonograms, mostly visual, and work with metronomes or stop watches to reduce processing speed. Our daughter gained anywhere between 2 and 7 grade levels in the areas that we target trained.
Our biggest obstical has been getting the school to do their part. She qualified for a 504 but teachers didn't want to follow the accommodations, and since Colorado doesn't recognize dyslexia as a learning disability, the school/teacher didn't think that it exhisted. She didn't qualify for an IEP, not even under the IDEA 2004 legislation for specific learning disabilities. We now have her enrolled in a different school who works with us. She still has days when she thinks she is stupid and hates herself but we tell her every time that she is just as smart as everyone else, she just learns differently and that her brain has to work harder. Having just one teacher that doesn't understand this learning disability is a detriment that we will have to overcome for a very long time.
As others stated, don't go with the testing that the schools do, take your child to a specialist...they know what they are doing and the schools really don't. Their data on my daughter was so contridicting that they couldn't even figure it out. Good luck and do everything you can to encourage your daughter and build up her self-esteem.
Oh, do I know that feeling. I have suspeceted that my 11 year old daughter had a learning disability since she was in second grade. The teachers kept telling me that she was "right where she needs to be." Finally at the end of third grade I learned that I could request that the school test her. Of course they didn't find anything wrong because they didn't want to.
In the meantime, I took her to Children's Hospital in Denver for testing. She was diagnosed with dyslexia, slow processing speed and very low phonemic awareness. They recommended tutoring with a multi-sensory tutor. I have spent 2 years looking for such a person. I have asked every educator I know if they know of one and they look at me like I have horns. Going to Children's Hospital for the tutoring is out of the question due to distance.
I finally found out about a program called Learning Rx. It is not tutoring, but cognitive brain therapy. They use the Woodcock Johnson test and test each individual child for their strengths and weaknesses. Then they tailor the training to target the ares of weakness. We completed at 24 week program, one on one training at the center 3 times a week for an hour and one on one training with the parent 3 times a week for an hour. They have a money back guarantee. They teach students to link visual images together, an entirely different way to learn phonograms, mostly visual, and work with metronomes or stop watches to reduce processing speed. Our daughter gained anywhere between 2 and 7 grade levels in the areas that we target trained.
Our biggest obstical has been getting the school to do their part. She qualified for a 504 but teachers didn't want to follow the accommodations, and since Colorado doesn't recognize dyslexia as a learning disability, the school/teacher didn't think that it exhisted. She didn't qualify for an IEP, not even under the IDEA 2004 legislation for specific learning disabilities. We now have her enrolled in a different school who works with us. She still has days when she thinks she is stupid and hates herself but we tell her every time that she is just as smart as everyone else, she just learns differently and that her brain has to work harder. Having just one teacher that doesn't understand this learning disability is a detriment that we will have to overcome for a very long time.
As others stated, don't go with the testing that the schools do, take your child to a specialist...they know what they are doing and the schools really don't. Their data on my daughter was so contridicting that they couldn't even figure it out. Good luck and do everything you can to encourage your daughter and build up her self-esteem.
Posted by: sharon waters, glasgow on 1:32pm Thu 4 Oct 07
i would just like to add sometimes the schools come through for the kids as well, all be it after a lot of pushing by myself, my 8 years old daughters school did have me daughter assessed by an educational psycologist and after diagnosis she is coming on leaps and bounds. I have also found out that your gp can also refer your child and you can do it yourself, the phone number is in the phone book under education.
don't give up it is a long hard struggle, but well worth it in the end.
i would just like to add sometimes the schools come through for the kids as well, all be it after a lot of pushing by myself, my 8 years old daughters school did have me daughter assessed by an educational psycologist and after diagnosis she is coming on leaps and bounds. I have also found out that your gp can also refer your child and you can do it yourself, the phone number is in the phone book under education.
don't give up it is a long hard struggle, but well worth it in the end.
Posted by: Lori Carbone, Georgia on 1:39pm Thu 4 Oct 07
Yes, I too the know the feeling. In second grade my son wasn't reading properly. "On" was "no" and "left" was "felt" and I would show him a word over and over and he wouldn't get it. If I had waited for the school to do something, I'd still be waiting. If you can afford to do so, do get an independent evaluation. Then find advocates in your area and use what you learn to attack the school. In 6th grade my son now finally is getting services but it was only after I pushed the issue with a letter to the county. He is a compelety different child now who actually loves school and performs well. Also find non academic things that your child is good at to help regain self esteem. For my son, swimming and clarinet have given him that boost. I hope that you find the same.
Yes, I too the know the feeling. In second grade my son wasn't reading properly. "On" was "no" and "left" was "felt" and I would show him a word over and over and he wouldn't get it. If I had waited for the school to do something, I'd still be waiting. If you can afford to do so, do get an independent evaluation. Then find advocates in your area and use what you learn to attack the school. In 6th grade my son now finally is getting services but it was only after I pushed the issue with a letter to the county. He is a compelety different child now who actually loves school and performs well. Also find non academic things that your child is good at to help regain self esteem. For my son, swimming and clarinet have given him that boost. I hope that you find the same.
Posted by: Deborah Foley, Newbury Park, CA on 7:36pm Thu 4 Oct 07
I know exactly what you are going through. My daughter had problems with reading from the get-go but loved school anyway, until 4th grade when after years of asking the school for help and testing. My daughter started to say she was stupid and hated school. I even went out of town for a 5 day special college class with English Teachers to help student with learning disabilities. I also bought every book I could get my hands on regarding learning disabilities and finally came across a book (The Source for Dyslexia and Dysgrahphia by: Regina G. Richards) and bingo....this book was my salvation. I highly recommend it!!!! My daughter was then tested by a specialist without me telling him my opinion and he confirmed it. I enrolled my daughter in a private school who understood my frustration and helped her by giving her extra time to complete assignments, read tests to her and gave her the gift of loving school again. However the school only went up to 6th grade, but it gave her the chance to get her confidence back.
My daughter is now in High School and I am still fighting with the School System for assistance ... there are also books on this subject as well that have helped me understand what I need to do and the help she needs is just around the corner.
My daughter now knows that she is not stupid but blessed with a condition that makes her special and talented in so many other ways. And, she now couldn't care less what other people think or say. And she explains to her teachers her condition and what she needs from them and it's amazing how much more respect she gets from them and her peers.
Good luck and don't give up!!
deb
I know exactly what you are going through. My daughter had problems with reading from the get-go but loved school anyway, until 4th grade when after years of asking the school for help and testing. My daughter started to say she was stupid and hated school. I even went out of town for a 5 day special college class with English Teachers to help student with learning disabilities. I also bought every book I could get my hands on regarding learning disabilities and finally came across a book (The Source for Dyslexia and Dysgrahphia by: Regina G. Richards) and bingo....this book was my salvation. I highly recommend it!!!! My daughter was then tested by a specialist without me telling him my opinion and he confirmed it. I enrolled my daughter in a private school who understood my frustration and helped her by giving her extra time to complete assignments, read tests to her and gave her the gift of loving school again. However the school only went up to 6th grade, but it gave her the chance to get her confidence back.
My daughter is now in High School and I am still fighting with the School System for assistance ... there are also books on this subject as well that have helped me understand what I need to do and the help she needs is just around the corner.
My daughter now knows that she is not stupid but blessed with a condition that makes her special and talented in so many other ways. And, she now couldn't care less what other people think or say. And she explains to her teachers her condition and what she needs from them and it's amazing how much more respect she gets from them and her peers.
Good luck and don't give up!!
deb
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