Favourite club
THE only interest in Celebrity Big Brother for Scots is the inclusion of Glasgow politician Tommy Sheridan, trying, no doubt, to forget about possible future court appearances over his libel tussle with the News of the World.

Diary reader Frank Eardley, who has been watching the show, wonders what Tommy was on about the other night, telling Terry Christian that United was his favourite club in Manchester.

So that scuppers the allegation that Cupid's was his favourite club in Manchester!

From the ashes
THE big interest in the weekend's otherwise torpid St Mirren v Motherwell game was the fact that it was the last game played at the Love Street ground before the bulldozers move in to clear the site for housing.

As reader Allan Black opines: "Apart from the fond memories, also left behind are the ashes of many St Mirren fans which were scattered on the ground. When the housing is built, I wonder if people who go in for the weekly shop will, for some unexplained reason, find themselves leaving with only a pie and Bovril."

Post-apocalypse
ANOTHER sign that things are getting bad. A reader who has just finished his VAT return read on the form: "The reply envelope supplied with this return is no longer postage paid. Please remember to affix a stamp to the envelope when submitting your return."

And he thinks to himself: "When the government can't afford the return postage, things are down the toilet."

Unfair competition
DOWN in London's financial sector, reader Clark McGinn tells us: "The wee Glaswegian who sells the Big Issue outside the Broadgate complex of bank offices said cheerio to me on Hogmanay. He said he was heading back home as there was too much competition for his pitch these days - all those pushy investment bankers."

Smash hit
"Now that he's back winning games," a sports fan pointed out to us, "I see that Andy Murray, pictured, is British again."

Loud speaker
"I always remember the sound advice that my grandfather gave me," said the chap in the bar the other night.

"It's worth spending money on surround-sound speakers', he told me."

Who cares?
THE announcement by the BBC of which actor would play the main role in the next series of the children's entertainment series Doctor Who even made the main headlines on BBC News 24. Not everyone was impressed, however.

One commuter returning to work in Glasgow after the Christmas/New Year break told his fellow traveller on a south-side train yesterday morning: "Not so much Doctor Who as Doctor Who-gives-a-damn?"

Hop, hop, hurray
A READER swears to us that he was desultorily meandering through the sales in the city centre shops on Glasgow on Saturday when he heard a woman shout to her weary husband that she had spotted a green jumper she wished to purchase. Hubby was clearly not entering into the spirit of the bargain hunt by replying: "Why would we want to keep a frog?"

Chirpy cheep cheep
"TIME for a daft old joke on the first Tuesday of the New Year?" asks a reader.

Well, what about the young lad who goes into the pet shop and asks for a bag of bird seed.

"How many birds to you have?" asked the shopkeeper.

"None," replied the young chap. "But I'm hoping to grow some."

Apologies for that.