Rangers reaching the Uefa Cup final in that penalty shoot-out meant a lot of west of Scotland men crying for the first time in years. But should they admit it?

As one wrote on a Rangers fans' website: "Cried, but pretended I had something in my eye like a real man!!" And another, who watched the game in a supporters' club, wrote: "For the first minute the tears were running down my face, but managed to disguise them by wiping my face in everybody's jumpers."

Never swear
FOR Celtic fans, the shoot-out was also nerve-wracking, but for different reasons, obviously. On one Celtic website, seconds before the kicks were taken, one fan wrote: "Dear footballing gods, I will adopt a poor African kid, buy an RSPCA dog, join the Red Cross, work in India unpaid, give blood daily, help old dears cross the road, recycle, change old people's pants and bedsheets - just don't let Rangers win this." So, if you see a chap with a dog and a young African at the Blood Transfusion Centre, let us know.

Shopworn
WE felt sorry for the chap lingering outside the ladies' changing rooms at Frasers who was feigning interest in the variety of outfits that his partner was parading in front of him.

We passed as he told her: "Get that one," only for him to be told: "For God's sake. This is the outfit I came in, you idiot."

East meets west
CURRY maestro Charan Gill, who has helped rescue the West brewery at Glasgow Green from administration, said at the relaunch that it was a good business decision.

"We all know that the Commonwealth Games are coming to the east end, and in just a few years, we are going to have thousands of people in tracksuits and trainers, unable to speak English wandering around Glasgow Green.

"No change there then!"

Fore girls
THE start of May reminds a female player at Airdrie Golf Club of phoning to The Herald's sports pages some years ago the competition results of the ladies section, which included who had won the May Cup.

It appeared in the paper as the Makeup winner.

Bottled
OUR story about the whisky tanker spillage in Glasgow reminded Dennis Kelly of when he worked at the Black and White bottling plant in Steppes, and an artic, turning into the plant, spilled its load of whisky cases on to the road.

Says Dennis: "We all watched in amazement as car after car screamed to a halt, the drivers jumped out and threw as many cases as they could into the boot and the back of their cars.

"A bit of a wasted effort though as the cases were full of empty bottles, but it was fun to watch."

Misssunderstood
BOB Geldof, former rock star and now poverty campaigner, was guest at the British Insurance Brokers Association conference in Glasgow last week. He told of joining President Bush on a visit to Africa earlier this year.

A US Peace Corps volunteer, said Bob, told the President how "a little voice" inside her head told her she wouldn't die after she was bitten by a snake.

"You know that voice," she told the President. "No," replied Bush. "I've never been bitten by a cobra.

Mother's pride
American author Jodi Picoult, at the Glasgow Royal Concert Hall to speak about her new book, Change of Heart, recalled the triumphant moment her first short story was printed in a magazine in the US.

The first thing she did was to call her mother excitedly and announce, "I'm going to be a writer." Showing mothers are the same everywhere, the reply was: "That's great. But who's going to support you?"