News of a cross-party alliance in Glasgow. Labour's chief whip on the city council, Aileen Colleran is to marry top SNP parly candidate Chris Stephens.

The happy couple can agree on only one union: their own. However, they have come to a few political understandings, Ms Colleran told the Diary. "I am keeping my name for political purposes," she said. "There is no way I am slipping down the ballot paper alphabetically.

Oh, and we promised not to stand against each other in an election."

So when is the big day? Ironically, July 4. "Yes," the one-time librarian admitted, "it's Independence Day."

Carpet-baggers
Councils. Deserve every complaint they get? Maybe not. One gent phoned his local paper the other day to vent forth on one of Scotland's bigger housing departments. He moaned: "They've taken away my carpet - now the dug has to do its business on the bare floor."

Medallion man
THE Diary's chest is now emblazoned with fine new Scottish medals. New suggestions include the Discontinued Service Medal for our shock troops on the public-sector front, and the OBEsity for those courageous enough to fight the flab. And, for our illustrious men and women of Scots letters, what better reward than the Sunset Gong?

Taking the rise
Do the cremators at Co-op Funeralcare have a new service on offer? We only ask after learning that the firm is sponsoring a production of Simply the Phoenix by the Phoenix Glasgow Choir.

Common touch
A quick peek in the in-tray of the folk hiring new bosses for Glasgow's 2014 Commonwealth Games. They're looking for a chief executive. One candidate is more than qualified. "I am well acquainted with the east end of Glasgow, home of the Games, and purchase all my DVDs and football strips there," wrote one hopeful on his application. "Many west enders have fears for the Games, as lattes and pain au chocolat are not yet available in Parkhead. I will make this a priority when selected."

Dead funny
A fair few comedians have corpsed in Glasgow. Now, The Diary understands, one or two undead jokers may be lingering on. Yes, our sources tell us The Stand comedy club in the west end of Glasgow has called in Ghostbusters - better known as the West of Scotland Paranormal Research Group.

The evidence of haunting? One performer reported a "ghostly figure" behind him on stage. An old man mysteriously appeared in a jannie's brown coat. Phantom growls were heard.

There's no pleasing Glasgow audiences. They're out of this world.

Prose and cons
Our library of books for crooks is now bulging. We particularly like the Unbearable S**teness of B Wing. Other well-thumbed favourites include Remand for All Seasons from David Cockburn; 20,000 Lags Under the Key from Jim Moynagh; and the much-nominated Peterhead Revisited.

Blasted from past
The boffins of Glasgow Uni were worried about young Charles Kennedy. What was he going to do with himself if he didn't get a good degree?

"If all else fails you could always go into politics," one professor told him. The former leader of the LibDems was yesterday formally robed as rector of his alma mater and, in his inaugural speech, recalled receiving, when first elected to the House of Commons, what he took to be a congratulatory letter from one of his former lecturers. The message? "I can only assume all else failed," the old prof wrote.

Unliberated Liberal
The LibDems are now led by a chap named Clegg who, oddly, decided to tell an interviewer quizzing him about his love life that he had made "no more than 30" conquests of the opposite sex. What would Mr Kennedy say if such an impertinent question was put to him, asked The Herald Diary yesterday. "I would say I never answer hypothetical questions," replied the wily MP, before adding: "It was not like that in my day." What can he possibly mean?