THE death of actress Deborah Kerr, and newsreaders using the anglified pronunciation "car", reminds former Scottish Television news boss Russell Galbraith of Deborah being interviewed at the station, with a driver being sent to collect her.

"Miss Kerr, your car," the driver said to her, using the normal Scottish pronunciation of her surname.

"It's car," said Deborah, using the anglified pronunciation.

"Sorry," replied the driver. "Miss Car, your kerr."

Cheaper in person
MICHAEL Sanderson has written a book about his father, the irascible Jimmy Sanderson, who made the fledgling Radio Clyde football phone-in a west of Scotland institution.

It is called Were You at the Game?, which was Jimmy's challenge to callers whose viewpoint he disagreed with.

The book includes The Diary story about a company approaching comedian and mimic Allan Stewart, pictured, to impersonate Jimmy's distinctive nasally voice in a radio advertisement.

Allan would do it for £200.

But the company at the last minute had a brainwave and approached Jimmy himself - who did the job for £50.

Celtic's new Ranger
READER Bill Copeland in Bothwell points out: "I wonder if the board at Celtic Football Club, after appointing John Reid as chairman, know that John Reid was the fictional real name of The Lone Ranger.

"Nice to see both sides of the Old Firm now have an association with a man on a big white horse."

Getting the wind up
THE gossip site Holy Moly tells us that after ITV showed the documentary Britain's Biggest Storm about the high winds of 1987, the duty officer received a call from a Scottish viewer who declared: "It is not Britain's biggest storm - England is not Britain. There was a far bigger storm in Scotland, a hurricane in 1968/69 - a real storm rather than a bit of wind."

So there.

Chubby cheek
MARTIN Harris spots a T-shirt slogan which suggests that not all Scots are taking the health warnings about obesity seriously. Straining across the stomach of a large chap was the legend: "I beat anorexia."

Key bored
FOR elderly computer users, John Boyd sends us the warning: "There is a new virus going around called C-Nile. Symptoms of C-Nile virus include:

  • Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.
  • Causes you to send a blank e-mail.
  • Causes you to send it to the wrong person.
  • Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.
  • Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.
  • Causes you to hit "send" before you finish the Rare treat
    CAN we believe the nedette who was telling her pal: "Ah nicked a couple o' steaks oot o' Asda and the security guy came after me shouting, What are you doing to do with them?' "So I shouted back, Tatties, peas and gravy - but what's it goat to dae wi' you?' "

Not rock'n'roll
SINGER/SONGWRITER Amy Macdonald, who performed last week at HMV's store on Argyle Street in Glasgow, had a fan on her online forum wondering what her native town of Bishopbriggs was like. The fan, perhaps carried away by Amy's songs, wrote: "I see it as the sun always shining, clear blue skies, lovers walking hand in hand singing songs by the Carpenters and policeman skipping round the town centre."

Sadly, another contributor squashed such ideas by answering: "It's just a Glasgow suburb."

So that's the tourist industry done in, then.