Sitting in a dappled haze of sun and green, the rise and fall of my belly was only punctuated by the bee-buzz and butterfly-flap. Six hours of garden work, the dust of trees graced bridge of nose, scratches from overgrown fuscia skimmed arms and I am blissfully peaceful in this natural haven. My body feels in perfect synchronicity.

One mile away there is another garden oasis, Queen’s Park. As the police comb the 148 acres for clues to a rape and murder of an ‘ordinary’ local woman, Moira Jones, ducks, squirrels and bunnies unaware continue in their forage.

In the West End, another ‘ordinary’ woman, Eleni Pachou was found murdered in the restaurant in which she worked.

Later in City Centre five women were indecently assaulted within the space of 90 minutes.

And on Sunday I was a Red Cross First Aide at a family event at Chatelherault Country Park, where I had been assaulted 8 years ago.

Needless to say the course of events and my subsequent arrival back at Chatelherault makes me think.

I’d like to say it was the only time I had been targeted in this way. Sadly, no. Fourteen and eleven years ago I was stalked, which came with threats to my life.

I’d like to say I am the only woman who has ever experienced this. Sadly, no.

It is interesting to note that when I refer to violence against women individuals chime ‘men get abused to’. Now please understand that I do not feel that is in any way a ‘better’ situation. However lumping violence against women with that against men is like comparing cancer and drowning.

The fact is women are targeted for the virtue of being women. And this is something we must face as a society and individuals.

I am referring to the demonizing of our bodies. Think of how abusive you are being to yourself every time, EVERY time you tell yourself you ‘need’ to be thinner, ‘need’ to have a different neck, nose, ass. You make yourself unworthy in the world. And this does contribute to a global neurosis wherein because our bodies are not good enough, because in many cases they carry such badness or stimulate impurity in men, they need to be covered and THAT builds a consciousness of abuse. For it is absolutely ok to battle, dishonour something that is bad.

Now in the meantime there are many chats about obesity, unhealthiness. Yes this is a problem- an equally bad measure of not honouring the body. This Protestant ethic of mind over all else and therefore the easy commodification of everything outwith is absurd.

I just saw a play about Hitler’s cleansing programs - his pursuit of the perfect race. I sometimes feel in our modern definition of ‘perfection’ that he must be jolly well happy in his grave as we, by choice, carry out all sorts of personal pursuits of physical perfection - our own little Stepfords.

We cannot bring back Moira or Eleni. And perhaps we cannot heal the perpetrators but we can proactively stop the development of new ones through our own honorable embrace of all we are in this natural physical world.

----- www.deeming.org