You might have thought that running a five-a-side football business would provide some perks on the pitch. A few missed tackles from your opponents and the odd soft penalty should be the least expected by Goals Soccer Centres finance chief Bill Gow, who still loves his weekly runaround.

But Keith Rogers, chief executive of the East Kilbride-based business, whose footy days are behind him, revealed this week that Gow's status doesn't even guarantee him a spot in the team. He has spent much of this year on the sidelines battling for a spot after taking a break to oversee the publication of the company's financial figures.

"Bill gave up during the results season and it took him two or three months to get back in the team," Rogers said with some glee.

Is this taking loyalty too far?
IT is good to see that in these fickle times many customers retain loyalty to their battered and bruised local bank.

A survey by Maritz Research reveals, surprise surprise, that the six mortgage providers most likely to be recommended by their own customers are the only six mortgage providers that anyone has actually heard of.

Most enlightening was a throwaway sentence at the bottom that "only" 47% of Northern Rock customers would recommend its mortgage products to friends and family.

Given that the nationalised bank is attempting to slash its mortgage book by offering such appalling deals that customers would be stupid not to switch, it would seem a tad surprising that almost half its customers are prepared to back its deals.

Next week: how three-quarters of Equitable Life customers would recommend its pensions to their children and 92% of Standard Life's clients suggest with-profits policies for risk-free wealth creation.

Finance group gets figures muddled
"OVER 143,000 Scotland-based SMEs polled in The Small Business Finance Barometer ... claimed not to have seen their bank manager for a year or more", trilled a press release from self-styled "leading financial group" Close Invoice Finance this week.

The division of merchant bank Close reported that a "staggering" 23% of those questioned couldn't recall the last time they met their banker and one in 10 claim they'd rather endure a trip to the dentist.

Apparently "businesses are becoming increasingly sceptical about the quality and impartiality of the service offered by their bank".

So they'll be reassured that "notes to the editor" in the release reveal Close talked to just 200 small companies, only 142,800 fewer than the number claimed in the text.