Lorne Jackson

Latest articles from Lorne Jackson

Katherine Hutchison tells us she was astonished to discover that a school has an education department, and adds: “As opposed, perhaps, to a fly-fishing department or a tulip-farming department?”

Herald Diary: A novel approach to a boring book
Irish comedian Michael Redmond is based in Glasgow’s west end, and admits being impressed by the swanky dining habits of the well-heeled locals.

My nightcap tincture is whisky and lemonade,” reveals Harry Young from Newton Mearns. “I know some purists will frown, but it may suit those who have missed visits to the gym.”

Herald Diary: Kids? What is this point, really?
ONE of the unanswerable conundrums of existence is undoubtedly: “What is the point of kids?”

A delighted David Donaldson tells us this arrived in the post yesterday. He says: “I can't see how nudity at my age is going to enhance a nice Sainte-Estèphe, but I admit the wine stains will be easier to wash out.”

Herald Diary: Fawlty logic behind Britain's war response

In an episode of the1970s TV show, Fawlty Towers, comic actor John Cleese lampooned Germany’s military history by allowing his long legs to flail fabulously in a mock version of the goosestep. Diary reader Chris Robertson, perhaps unwisely, showed a YouTube clip of this famous scene to a German pal...

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Foster Evans spotted this tips jar in a Great Western Road boozer, where the staff seem to be swithering about what to spend their extra dosh on…

Herald Diary: You should see what's at the bottom of Snowdonia...
IT can’t be denied that the German people have many talents. They’re highly skilled at manufacturing motor cars, brewing beer and prancing around in tight lederhosen. However, there is one fatal flaw in the Teutonic DNA.

Cockney rhyming slang expert Jack Benson tells us he’s sending his condolences to Sheila’s family

The Diary It might be taps aff in Glasgow but things aren't the same on the islands
Boiling rage

Alex Salmond was a big problem for comedian Des McLean

Herald Diary: The complaint that is so very Edinburgh...
The Diary likes to think it is very much like the Eurovision Song Contest - high on energy and low on gravitas - as you’ll discover while reading the following classic tales from our archives…

Chris Robertson, who spotted this sign, points out that it’s hard to argue with the facts, and the logic is also immaculate.

Herald Diary: An easy way to make those bingo wings better
The other day reader David Simpson was chatting to a pal who has recently returned to Glasgow after moving to the countryside with his wife a couple of years ago. The pal admitted he came back because living in the sticks proved to be dull and lonely, and he and his wife had nothing to chat about.

Stuart Neville from Clydebank spotted this number plate on a Mini. “Surely a broomstick is the more traditional mode of transport?” he says.

Herald Diary: Revealed: the real problem with a man's beard
A single friend of reader Victoria Whitehead revealed that she has started dating a new fella. Victoria congratulated her, though the friend didn’t seem overly delighted with her new situation.

Bob Wallace from Pollokshields admits being totally stunned that he missed the announcement of this remarkable scientific advance. “Turns out it was hair conditioning,” he says. “What a let-down.”

Herald Diary: Should you get danger money for cutting the grass?
Strolling in Glasgow’s south side the other afternoon, reader Paul Bates spotted an unusual sight.

Rod Crossan spotted this nifty mug and says he’s sure it will be very popular with customers, especially customers whose first name is Elon and surname is Musk.

Herald Diary: Rude behaviour from a Pig in the bedroom
Comedian Andy Cameron recalls a chap who worked in the yards and also performed in the pubs around Govan. His nickname was The Pig.